Crying our for help...

I had been a Christian for over 20 years when I entered treatment and became exposed to the "12 Step Program of Alcoholics Anonymous". I had 'no clue' what was involved in recovery and deemed it as 'secular'... until viewing the Steps for the first time in 'Cabin 3' at Bradford on the Warrior. It was observed that 'the program' was not secular at all, but a design for living that centered both on the necessity of God and the daily surrender to God -- and I knew why I was in that cabin on that day...because I COULD NOT make it on my own and the 'one time' surrender to Christ at the age of 20 was not enough for me. The program teaches me that I must 'clinge' to God day by day for the rest of my life. This leads me to a better understanding of 'the 1st step' of the program:

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (addiction, etc) - that our lives had become unmanageable.

I have been taught this is the admission of alcoholism or addiction and if a person says "I am an alcoholic or addict" he or she has completed the 1st Step. I don't see this as merely an admission of a problem but as a 'cry for help'. To me, it is the 'powerlessness' and helplessness over my addiction and life that is the emphasis ... much like a dying man with cancer that realized 'self-healing' did not work. I didn't just need to recognize that I had problem ... but needed to realize it was necessary to 'throw in the towel' regarding all efforts to control my addictions (and my life). When I finally came to this point, I called a friend in order receive a few kind words (you know who you are M.B.) and give me a message of consolation ... but all he said was "Lane, you are exactly where God wants you to be". He let me know that it might take a great loss in order for me to find His way for my life. I put down the phone and was crushed because the TRUTH was so painful: I had come to the end of all my efforts and had no right to place a condition on what must be surrendered in order to be fully restored. This is not what I wanted to hear ... words such as "it will be O.K." or "everything will work out" is what I longed for, but did not receive. My friend could make no such promises and could only communicate, through experience, the reality of my situation ...based on the knowledge that the road of recovery was not going to be an easy process, but was necessary for survival. His words were not cruel (contrary to my original thoughts!), but poured from a heart of love because he knew that I would not make it without 'giving up'.

Having progressed on this journey and encountering many folks struggling with addictions, I always listen for that 'cry of help' and a willingness to do 'whatever it takes'. Bill Wilson said we must seek "... escape with all the desperation of a drowning man". I am so grateful to God that He has provided both a 'way out' of destruction and a 'way in' to a life with purpose. It all starts with a 'cry for help'...

Lane