It has been a busy week...and I feel 'agitated' and 'not very spiritual'. In fact, I did not want to post this continuation of a '4th Step inventory'. However, because of those feelings...I know that I must continue on..."Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves..."
What does this mean and how can I complete this step? For me, it begins with the 1st principle identified in the previous post: 1) An honest assessment and evaluation of my life. This action will cause me to objectively view my past and present with honesty. The intent is to see things "as they are". I need to make a thorough inventory of the life that was surrendered to God in Step 3. This is tough because I need to slow down and carefully ask Him to help me identify and review the various 'areas' of my life. I know I will need God to show me the "one more thing" that is concealed, along with my hidden motives. The areas that I must review and consider are:
- My true relationship to God and the state of my daily spiritual life
- The relationship with my family
- My finances and possessions
- My job/career/calling
- Sex, lust and imagery
- All social relationships (friends, society, work, etc.)
- My recreation and entertainment
- My physical health
- My 'mental life', obsessions, compulsions and 'meditations of the heart'
- Use of time
- Accountability and submission
- How I handle responsibilities
As I carefully review each of these areas, I need the courage from God to explore what is REALLY 'going on' in each of these areas. What has occurred in the past that still affects me today? What patterns of behavior am I tolerating that will have a long-term negative impact? As I stand in the center and view these various areas of my life...I carefully must consider the TRUTH and explore my willingness to surrender everything to God. I must ask God for the SPIRIT of TRUTH that dissects and exposes all behaviors that will separate me from Him. I will be asking myself a series of questions that require 'rigourous honesty'. This will be tough because I am in a bit of a 'dead time' spiritually and somewhat reluctant to move forward. I pray for courage and favor...I need His help.
As stated in the Big Book of AA, I am "launching out on a course of vigorous action..." My reluctance and emotions must not halt the process.
Lane
1 comment:
I thank God for your honesty and your friendship.
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